Script is often compared to destiny or fate by those who misunderstand this Transactional Analysis idea. So what does a TA therapist mean by script?
As we grow up, we observe the world and work out how we can survive it. We make decisions when we are young that can stay with us for the rest of our lives unless we challenge these beliefs when we are adults and learn to do things differently.
Script is a central concept in TA.
Script is:
“A life plan based on decisions which limit a person’s ability to problem solve and relate intimately with people” (Erskine, R. 1980).
One of the main roles of a TA psychotherapist is to challenge script beliefs in their clients and help them move towards autonomy.
Many of the decisions that we make about the world are made completely out of our awareness and for good reason. For example, if, as a child, Bob is punished every time he cries, he learns very quickly not to cry or show emotions. He may develop a script belief that men shouldn’t cry and feel uncomfortable around men who show their emotions and find it difficult to deal with his own when things get tough in his personal life.
His script decision has kept him safe as a child and was a great way of surviving, but as an adult he is not in danger if he shows his emotions and his inability to do so may well cause difficulty between him and his partner who feels he is cold and remote from her.
If I was doing therapy in Manchester with Bob, I may well bring Bob’s script beliefs around emotions into his awareness where they can both discuss where they originated from and how they can be changed if that’s what Bob wants. The result of changing these beliefs for Bob might be a better relationship with his partner, who feels closer to him, and a reduction in stressful feelings as Bob now realises it’s OK to feel sad and scared and is able to talk about these feelings more easily with people he trusts.
And that’s the key to script – we made the decisions so we can change them. We have that power.
By having our script beliefs brought into our awareness and challenging those that limit us we have the opportunity to lead more spontaneous, flexible and intimate lives.
We choose our own destiny. Our fate is in our own hands. A good therapist helps us realise our dreams that bit quicker.
What do you think? Do you believe in destiny? Is there such a thing as fate? Please let me know your opinions and ideas by commenting below.
Erskine, R, Script Cure: Behavioral, Intrapsychic and Physiological. Transactional Analysis Journal, 1980, 10 (2) 102-106.
There is definitely such a thing as fate and each individual controls and choose their own destiny. Life is like a fast food restaurant drive through , you have options to choose from, you pick out the one you want and your order(your choice) would be waiting for you at the pickup window(in future)
Hi Abbey. I like your philosophical approach and it’s an interesting analogy. I think we have so much input into how we want our lives to turn out and we often discount our ability to change things. Therapy is about challenging these negative beliefs and making sure you choose the most nutritious options that will sustain you in the future.
It is strange sometimes how things have happened to enable something you want to happen, ie. the right person comes along at the right time, a door opens at the right time, something gets cancelled or moved to allow something else in which this changes your path. Deepak Chopra calls it syncronisity. Its not so much fate but if you want something the universe works to help it along (its still you creating what you want for your life but this energy seems to attract other energy that can help you fulfil your desires both positive and negative, although the budhists say what a person says is lucky or bad luck may not be either further down the line.
With reference to your 5 books that had an impact on you, I have ordered the 3 books I havnt read and agree with your opinion of the other 2 that I have read, Born to win and 7 habits of highly effective people (which I re read and listen to the audio cds every couple of years. Looking forward to reading the books you have recommended.
thanks
Eddie
Hi Eddie – I’m excited that you have ordered 3 of the books off the list. Do me a favour and come back and let me know what you think of them. It will be good to compare different opinions.
hi ian. what are these 5 books as mentioned above?
Now I know what my therapist is doing, thank you. Its a shame she hasnt explained that to me. Why do Psychotherapists assume so much?
Hi Gearoil
Thanks for your comment. Sometimes us therapists don’t explain what we are doing. This is because it is not useful to the process. Other times I find an explanation really helps. And you’re right, we don’t get things right all the time because we are human too
Hi Lindy – you can read about the five books by checking out this post: http://manchesterpsychotherapy.net/5-books-that-change-lives/